Have you read or watched ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne? The formula for attracting things to your life? Of course you have. Does it work? I read the book in early 2013 and loved the philosophy. That was it then in 2014 I made a list of the things I wanted and needed in my… Continue reading Life is good.
Much more than a dog
A sideshow to my mental health diagnosis in 2011 was my Boxer dog, Max. Max and I enjoyed a great relationship. He was the first dog that I had since leaving home. He came everywhere with me even to work, so when things began to spiral out of control, I did the unthinkable. I found… Continue reading Much more than a dog
Waking up
I don't know when I first lost my marbles. I think rather than the whole bag going overnight, perhaps I lost them gradually over the years. Looking back, I don't think I was ever well, over 24 yrs before I was eventually rescued. They never gave me my marbles back, but I have gradually found… Continue reading Waking up
A New Beginning
I have been on the eternal search to find something, and I haven’t been able to put my finger on exactly what that is. Was it the truth, the meaning of life, God, peace? This search has taken me everywhere on my life journey. I have read many books, joined and left a cult, and… Continue reading A New Beginning
100 Days Part 1
The Mystery
Look it’s hidden shrouded in bliss Cold wintry night fog rising quick On tree’s, your eyes focus branches beware Listen intently, listen to hear The damp ice weather you feel in your chest Try not to breathe in try not to rest You’re out on a journey, one that’s so long A journey with danger… Continue reading The Mystery
Losing Us
It’s bad enough the loss Without you having to deal With it. Every time you go upstairs You’re losing a little bit more of us...…... Having experienced losing three pregnancies in 13 months the above describes the fear that grips the man when you are well aware of what is happening but the words between… Continue reading Losing Us
Flood
The flood overtakes your thoughts Taken by surprise I stepped outside of myself I was looking down My outer shell was speaking My inner self was thinking My mind is unattached I’m on overdrive A part is what I play An actor is what I am Why do I do this Here for all to… Continue reading Flood
Where Did You Sleep Last Night
Where did you sleep last night? By Mark R Lyth When I was a child, an awfully long time ago We would play in the street together did you know I was only seven when I met her, skipping down the street ‘would you like to play with me’ her I would entreat We moved… Continue reading Where Did You Sleep Last Night
A Crumbling Facade
No News
It has been three weeks now since I’ve seen the news. It has taken great discipline to avoid it. I have disabled all social media accounts, unsubscribed from various media apps, avoided the T.V. and newspapers. When I’m in a supermarket I sort of dance blindly past the newspapers and magazines. The biggest challenge of… Continue reading No News
Closing My Mind
The whisper becomes louder the words become clear listening closer what do you hear music is playing out in the rain nobody went out nobody came. In on your own alone in your mind what do you look for what did you find thoughts became made words you now form put them together who will… Continue reading Closing My Mind
Out In The Field
It is hard to find a niche to trundle happily along kicking stones and clutching grass. This one life for periods half lived. In the wrong rooms Wrong houses, in the wrong jobs a lack of determination blame everyone else for my own deficiencies. I think perhaps I need to be assertive pick a goal… Continue reading Out In The Field
A Miscarriage of Justice
How do you formulate a response? What is the message I have to learn? My heart hasn’t recognised the change yet, my already paranoid mind has shut down. I laugh and don’t cry. Look normal and happy but they can’t see or hear inside me It's just as well, silence is deafening and my pain,… Continue reading A Miscarriage of Justice
A Work in Progress
Perhaps there is a reason for my reticence perhaps I can’t begin to grasp it at all. But I will always seek to find answers I will always try and stay on the ball. This life of oh so much more insignificance has possibility to bloom. Into something good and spiritual a journey with no… Continue reading A Work in Progress
The Ledge
I stand so many floors up I don’t know exactly how high Enough to end me If I fall The window behind me is open With every fibre I try not to Acknowledge the gusting wind that calls You’re not well are you? I know its hard not to be really I was just managing… Continue reading The Ledge
Emergency Services Called to a Man on the Roof
Again
If only the echoes in my mind And ghost of lives past Could leave me just for a day The dark skies no longer cast The shadows, make me look rather Intimidated as I grope about In my unbearable time here Nothing is easy I could fucking shout About wasting my life and time On… Continue reading Again
I No Longer
I no longer feel the same do you feel it too I no longer feel the rain does it pour down over you I’m no longer shamed by what was done I no longer feel I’m on the run from you I no longer feel the pain, but I see you hurt It no longer… Continue reading I No Longer