Part of my job puts me in front of people, who like me, suffer with their mental health and I try to pass on in workshops the strategies I use that have helped me enormously over the last nine years since I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I teach about how there is an onus on us individually to do our part and by that I mean keep an eye on ourselves, keep check daily to see how we are. I wrote a post not to long ago about being free and having a new lease of life and that is still the case. Yet I still have to negotiate my life with Bipolar and while, thankfully, I no longer suffer with depression and how grateful I’m I of that. I do have thoughts emotions sometimes bizarre and now all to predictable behaviour effecting my life and my lovely families life. So I noticed I was (am) slipping into a period that while not yet detrimental is nonetheless concerning. I did an Econsult with my surgery and a lovely Doctor called me and he wanted to refer me back into psychiatric services for support. A week later I received this text message.
Dear Mr Lyth,
Unfortunately, the secondary care Mental Health team have rejected my referral for you on the grounds that you are not clinically unwell and are currently stable. If you wish to discuss this further please make an appointment. If there are details that we are not aware of, or you are deteriorating it is important to let us know as soon as possible.
Thanks, Dr L A
C Medical Centre
I don’t know what the Doctor said in his referral letter, the point is they won’t see me and also doubt his professional opinion. Would a heart specialist only see me if I had a high chance of an attack? It is known statistically that men don’t speak about their mental health and suicide success rate are much higher among men than women. Mental health days and raising awareness is useless if we are operating such a broken system here in the UK. My children on the picture accompanying this post love and need me as I do them. In my sound mind I would never leave them. Sadly all sorts of other things are attached to my diagnosis: paranoia, delusions, risk taking, euphoria, intense dysphoria, irritability. Mood swings can affect sleep, energy, activity, judgement. It looks like I have to be in an episode to access help and wait six weeks or longer to see anyone. That more than anything from this episode scares me.
After not working for eight years it is important I continue to work because it is really good for me. This is my number one concern because it will be the first thing I have to let go of if I become ill.