An unremarkable day half lost in thought the other in exhaustion i know the answers i just lack the imagination desire and ambition to lift myself up again so in reality i have nothing to work with time washes over me like a rock in a stream until i wake and wonder where time went
Futility surrounds me and frightens me Hope passes fleetingly but never long enough to grasp I always feel despondent after a high I only recognise an episode retrospectively when the darkness envelops When everything I held true in my mania comes crashing down around me
I will not seek to conform to your 'societal' 'normal'. You don't see how laughable it is that we, souls with poor mental health, should seek refuge with the large swell of undiagnosed and unmedicated people on the wheel of life that overwhelmed us, and we left behind.
Overwhelmed It's surprising where ten seconds, of unchecked thoughts can lead you Numb You can't feel anything no matter how hard you try, how hard you drink, how hard you cry. Panic In ordinary places, I'm screaming inside until my throat is raw, I've become all talk and my soul is sore.
My head won't work but no one outwardly sees it I need some seconds to process what's been saidFeeling panic rise in my chestMy parched mouth ringingIn my amygdala.'I'm never going to swallow again'.I need to ordain myself in a lanyardTo be understood.All the colours have been takenThere are none left for usI wish my… Continue reading Nothingness
The most insidious thing about anxiety is it tears you from everything you love. It isolates you and you convince yourself, or misbelieve, it is good to be alone. Everything you enjoyed previously goes. In my case, it even stopped me from listening to music in my own home because of the memories, and the… Continue reading TRFC
The gulf between having to live And wanting to live Is as big as it sounds
I must have sinned Missed something Didn’t read it all became inadequate not trusted unworthy ignored unwarranted declined Unfavoured what did I take, for granted not thankful become hopeless not funny not rich I’m as far from you now as I was in my ignorance
was a little bastard I find myself in unchartered waters desperately trying to keep my mind clear for the fight ahead clinging to the precious cargo called hope.
I'm surrounded by a crowd of people without a dad. All ages. all in pain. Why? I don't know but this rite of passage shit is all wrong. Some manage to break the chain; some sadly go on to become the abuser, and on it goes. This abuse takes on many guises, it is insidious,… Continue reading What it Takes to be a Man