My Night of the Long Knives

I arrived at seven and was home by ten thirty Didn’t know it yet I’d soon feel lost deranged and dirty The demon allowed me to sleep til 3 Then roared and flung up the mattress and me I was dying I’ve been dying for a year and a half My night of hell and… Continue reading My Night of the Long Knives

Show’s Over

Who is speaking to you? The words leave my lips but who formed them? Don't presume it's me and if you can't begin to understand that perhaps I need not talk to you anymore There are three of me all battling for the floor It is deeper than a mood change I have no control… Continue reading Show’s Over

Rainbow in the Storm

You will never get near stigma's end if we don't include those who are on the receiving end. No more empty gestures that tick boxes Asking me where my stress ends and my diagnosis begins is proof that stigma is alive or well. Like a rainbow of hell in a storm

Adrenaline

exhausted difficult to see a change feel my age feel mentally falling away no control over anything unable to catch the day and physically I'm on a twenty four hours rollercoaster. The fun has gone after 5 minutes the rest is hell

Lingerie

I fall in love with you all over again the delicate fabric holds perfectly, every inch of you that I hold dear Had I stopped seeing it? I think not. Yet it screamed at me as you negotiated the two buttons that guard underneath you. A special place The garment accentuates your beauty you hold… Continue reading Lingerie

Survival of a disappointed Life pt. 2

The man attempts to make sense of his forty-odd years of graft in 18 black bin bags. Type without the yellow drawstring. A deliberate last act of 'fuck you' because they are so hard to carry. Every emotion the man ever had are evident in those bags. Long decisions at clothes rails in department stores… Continue reading Survival of a disappointed Life pt. 2

Sometimes I wonder how much life can throw at you in one day Covid, a stroke, a relationship break up and another trip to hospital for your 15 month daughter.l Life’s arrow-mum, dad and two daughters I can’t process this whilst negotiating my lithium and the rest One ball knocked all my loved ones down

Survival of a disappointing life pt 1

I can only survive in silence I can see what I’m doing A good day is only when your happy A roll of the dice is for you I know why this is the case It’s learned behavior from home Something I had to do in childhood And failed in adolescence She could never be… Continue reading Survival of a disappointing life pt 1