Retreating behind the wall you have had to build through Grafitti, you write about the pain you are feeling but are too untrusting to share with anyone. The words help and turmoil have been written with my nails. The narrative has to change if it was me reading the signs..........
The chatter is drowned out by the alcohol The numbness I seek is already prevalent without it but now I can't stop wracked with guilt as I down quadruples in one promising myself tomorrow will be different but tomorrow never comes
An unremarkable day half lost in thought the rest in exhaustion I know the answers I just lack the motivation, desire and ambition to lift myself up again. So, in reality I have nothing to work with. Time washes over me like a rock in a stream until I wake and wonder where the time… Continue reading Lost
Like waking from an anesthetic I am glad to be alive breathing, previous fears melting away love filling my lungs gratitude in my ears life pumping my heart. I have found my way back from the wilderness a place of derelict negative thoughts
This post is a little different than my normal efforts. I find myself in another 'crisis' junction in my life living with bipolar. This time I feel aggrieved to be here because I shouted for professional intervention since May 2021. I need to get this out because from here I need to take another tack,… Continue reading WTF!
An unremarkable day half lost in thought the other in exhaustion i know the answers i just lack the imagination desire and ambition to lift myself up again so in reality i have nothing to work with time washes over me like a rock in a stream until i wake and wonder where time went
Rapid cycling is not a fun hour in the park. This is worse than anything I've previously experienced. I'm not in either camp long enough to settle. The euphoric glimpses are not with me long enough, to either warm me or destroy me. the lows are unsettling, they niggle me like a tattooist's irritation.
Futility surrounds me and frightens me Hope passes fleetingly but never long enough to grasp I always feel despondent after a high I only recognise an episode retrospectively when the darkness envelops When everything I held true in my mania comes crashing down around me
I will not seek to conform to your 'societal' 'normal'. You don't see how laughable it is that we, souls with poor mental health, should seek refuge with the large swell of undiagnosed and unmedicated people on the wheel of life that overwhelmed us, and we left behind.
Overwhelmed It's surprising where ten seconds, of unchecked thoughts can lead you Numb You can't feel anything no matter how hard you try, how hard you drink, how hard you cry. Panic In ordinary places, I'm screaming inside until my throat is raw, I've become all talk and my soul is sore.