Lost

An unremarkable day half lost in thought the rest in exhaustion I know the answers I just lack the motivation, desire and ambition to lift myself up again. So, in reality I have nothing to work with. Time washes over me like a rock in a stream until I wake and wonder where the time… Continue reading Lost

Found

Like waking from an anesthetic I am glad to be alive breathing, previous fears melting away love filling my lungs gratitude in my ears life pumping my heart. I have found my way back from the wilderness a place of derelict negative thoughts

Breathless

An unremarkable day half lost in thought the other in exhaustion i know the answers i just lack the imagination desire and ambition to lift myself up again so in reality i have nothing to work with time washes over me like a rock in a stream until i wake and wonder where time went

Settle down

Rapid cycling is not a fun hour in the park. This is worse than anything I've previously experienced. I'm not in either camp long enough to settle. The euphoric glimpses are not with me long enough, to either warm me or destroy me. the lows are unsettling, they niggle me like a tattooist's irritation.

Hurtling Along

Futility surrounds me and frightens me Hope passes fleetingly but never long enough to grasp I always feel despondent after a high I only recognise an episode retrospectively when the darkness envelops When everything I held true in my mania comes crashing down around me

A resolution of sorts

I will not seek to conform to your 'societal' 'normal'. You don't see how laughable it is that we, souls with poor mental health, should seek refuge with the large swell of undiagnosed and unmedicated people on the wheel of life that overwhelmed us, and we left behind.

On it Goes

Overwhelmed It's surprising where ten seconds, of unchecked thoughts can lead you Numb You can't feel anything no matter how hard you try, how hard you drink, how hard you cry. Panic In ordinary places, I'm screaming inside until my throat is raw, I've become all talk and my soul is sore.

Nothingness

My head won't work but no one outwardly sees it I need some seconds to process what's been saidFeeling panic rise in my chestMy parched mouth ringingIn my amygdala.'I'm never going to swallow again'.I need to ordain myself in a lanyardTo be understood.All the colours have been takenThere are none left for usI wish my… Continue reading Nothingness