Dreams

Have you ever had a dream that was so real that you believe it is part of your life part of your narrative? Then add into the mix general anesthesia (hernia) and you may come up with something like this. I was pregnant and I was going to my 12-week scan and I hoped to… Continue reading Dreams

Lost

An unremarkable day half lost in thought the rest in exhaustion I know the answers I just lack the motivation, desire and ambition to lift myself up again. So, in reality I have nothing to work with. Time washes over me like a rock in a stream until I wake and wonder where the time… Continue reading Lost

Found

Like waking from an anesthetic I am glad to be alive breathing, previous fears melting away love filling my lungs gratitude in my ears life pumping my heart. I have found my way back from the wilderness a place of derelict negative thoughts

WTF!

This post is a little different than my normal efforts. I find myself in another 'crisis' junction in my life living with bipolar. This time I feel aggrieved to be here because I shouted for professional intervention since May 2021. I need to get this out because from here I need to take another tack,… Continue reading WTF!

Hurtling Along

Futility surrounds me and frightens me Hope passes fleetingly but never long enough to grasp I always feel despondent after a high I only recognise an episode retrospectively when the darkness envelops When everything I held true in my mania comes crashing down around me

TRFC

The most insidious thing about anxiety is it tears you from everything you love. It isolates you and you convince yourself, or misbelieve, it is good to be alone. Everything you enjoyed previously goes. In my case, it even stopped me from listening to music in my own home because of the memories, and the… Continue reading TRFC